I'm still alive...

Believe it or not, I'm still alive!!

I'm terribly sorry, Christina, for scaring you. That wasn't my intent at all. In my previous update, I did write a lot of scary things, but honestly those were the things I was afraid of going into the program.

I dedicated 6 weeks of sticking to core before I'd even think about quitting. Now, the 6 weeks is over and I've decided that I'm going to continue to follow the core plan.

The six weeks was a rough adjustment, but it was the same adjustment I made when I started WW to begin with. I had a lot of the same feelings and I had the same withdrawls and frustrations. It was just over different types of food.

Let me explain...When I started WW, I craved fast food. French fries, hamburgers, ice cream. I also craved chips and cookies. Those were all foods I was used to eating all the time, so when I started I had to focus on what is a healthier way of me to eat. I found a lot of awesome low point snacks and I lived off of that. Once I adjusted, I was OK. I was content and I didn't crave any of that terrible stuff all the time.

Core was similar, but I was cutting out my low point snacks. Since I was used to having those as a staple in my diet, I craved them when I cut them out. I felt much like I did when I quit smoking over 9 years ago. Ask Gary, he probably wanted to shove some food in my mouth so I'd quit bitching...LOL!

As time went on, I felt better and I felt in control again and core is definitely a liveable lifestyle. Really, it is.

In the 6 weeks, I had lost 6.5 pounds. Now, in those weeks, I had good weeks and bad weeks. There were times I was disappointed and times I was surprised.

I hope I can continue to lose. A pound a week is good enough for me at this point. Although I can't seem to grasp that it still might take me 17 more weeks to get to goal, but then I think...hot damn, only 17 pounds until GOAL!

I've really been using my bonus points on the weekends. Having myself a "fat-free Saturday" per say. I don't think this is really the way that I want to live my life, but for now, I always feel like I just need a splurge day after doing well all week. I didn't feel like that on core, but it usually keeps me more disaplined during the week.

So that's where I'm at. I've been pretty busy with life around here these days, so that's why I'm not posting much. It must be all that extra energy I have since losing 88 pounds!! :)

The core update...

Since you asked, Christina, I'll update.

Core is freakin' hard.

Not impossible as I had thought, just harder and much more disciplined.

What's core like and what do I like/dislike about core...

#1 - I can drink as much milk as I want. I freakin' love milk and I hardly drank it while on flex because I was never willing to spend points on milk unless it was in my cereal and even that I hardly ate.

#2 - Cereal. I love cereal and hardly ate it and this week I got to have cereal and milk everyday. Now Fiber One isn't as good as Coco Pebbles, but it's also not as bad as say dirt either...

#3 - I've had a baked potato almost every day with dinner. I'd say this is a positive and a negative, because my only side is veggies and a baked potato with spray butter. I'm a little bored, as I think Gary is too.

#4 - Keri's kick ass fruit chocolate smoothies. Totally core for the entire cup (and it's a big cup). Kinda tastes like ice cream, but NO points!! Bonus!!

#5 - I think I might be down at least 2 pounds. Now anything can change between now and Saturday, but KICK ASS, I'm down TWO pounds!! I needed this!!

Core sucks because...I feel like I can't just grab anything to eat. I've had to limit my snacking and if I want to snack it's pretty much a vegetable or a fruit.

Since I'm such a damn picky eater, I need to use my bonus points for things I eat in my everyday meals. Such as my freakin' coffee, tortilla for lunch, string cheese. I feel like I can't spend points on anything big and let's just forget about ordering pizza this week. That'd take up half of my weekly points and I can't afford that. Maybe on Saturday after my weigh in and we will see how many points I've got left.

I feel like I'm hungry all of the time. I don't know why, but the damn cucumbers don't fill me up for very long. Neither does yogurt or a banana. I feel like I'm hungry every hour now.

I KNOW that core is the healthy persons ideal way of living. There should be NO snacking. No cookies, cake, ice cream, chips, etc, etc. But THAT is life and I need to figure out a healthy balance of implementing core into my lifestyle while not feeling like I'm on a diet. Because that's how I feel this week. I'm on a diet and next week if I don't do core, I'm going to suck and I'm going to gain.

Now, I know I'm gung-ho and doing core to the maximum this week because it's week 1. I just feel like I don't have as much wiggle room (aka cheating) without feeling completely guilty.

I hope I don't scare the shit out of you, Christina. It's really not THAT bad...LOL. I'm am super excited that I'm down and that's what is keeping me motivated.

Oh yeah, and I LOVE not writing everything down. That's another huge perk of the program!!